1.12.2006

Secret Project for Goodman Games
Get your Slime On
As if you needed any other reasons to write d20 material, I give you reason #492:

Art to text ratio.

Sure I'm a hack. But right now there is an artist somewhere trying to translate my nightmares into ink and oils.

Love it. :)

This post has been syndicated to livejournal by the haunted and paranoid Harleybot.

19 Comments:

At 1:06 PM, Blogger SnakeOil Sage said...

Why does that thing look auspiciously like the Watcher in the Lake?

And the chick in the bikini is always the first to get grabbed by the thing with tentacles.

You and your hentai dreams, Grim. o_O

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger Grimbones said...

Because it's a cursed Bikini of Watcher Summoning, of course. ;)

//H

 
At 2:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, guys, but it has to be asked: why is a hero wandering underground in a bikini again? Cave bathing for her tan? I mean c'mon. It goes with the "vintage" genre and all but ......... ew.

~Tank never goes spelunking in her bikini

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger SnakeOil Sage said...

"Because it's a cursed Bikini of Watcher Summoning, of course."

Ew. Someone really watches too much Japanese toon-porn. ;)

"-why is a hero wandering underground in a bikini again?"

Maybe it's a Bikini Top of the Winterlands and a Bikini Bottom of Armor +5.

I mean, look at the Scandinavian bikini teams. Their beaches break off into iceburgs six months of the year, and the other six is complete darkness, but they're in bikinis.

Hell, I'd wear one. Got my Greater Slick Full Body Stocking on right now.

Like trying to catch a greased wild dwarf.

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger Kameron said...

She is obviously a sorceress and chose the garment with the lowest chance or arcane failure. I think the real question is why does the wizard where a robe with those long, dangling sleeves. I can only imagine how all that fabric gets in the way of any somatic component. ;)

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger Kameron said...

where = wear

(Now you know why I've only written 89 words this week. :p )

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger SnakeOil Sage said...

But armor also has max Dexterity limits, which hampers our ability to move about without being seen or heard.

So the less clothes we wear, the better our arcane spellcasting, and the better chances we have of not being spotted.

Woot! Let's get naked! I'm invisible!

(Order o' the Stick, anyone? :)

 
At 7:51 AM, Blogger ec said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger ec said...

Maybe her wardrobe owes something to maternal duress? Perhaps there's a prequel to this scene in the fantasy version of Long Island, in which her mother said something along the lines of,

"So, no husband, no boyfriend even? What happened with that Sauron fellow? Okay, so he was a little older, and maybe a little evil, but such a man is easier to live with than a paladin, am I right? Of course right. Here, I bought you something at Macy's. Don't roll your eyes at me, young lady. A designer lable, and such a bargain! It's not everyday can you buy a Bikini of Watcher Summoning for two gold. Here, let me help you off with that armor. Full plate armor, in this season? And when was the last time you polished those grieves? And you wonder why no husband? Off with the rest of it, and put on the bikini. Yes, here; where else? What, I haven't seen you naked before? Hmmm. Well, you're looking...heroic. I was thinking we'd go out for lunch, but maybe I'll just make us a little salad. Careful with that G-string! All of sudden there's a fire to put out somewhere? Ah, there you go. Haven't I always said that's a good color for you? You need more jewelry--and would it kill you to wear lipstick?--but if this doesn't get you noticed, I'll eat my Mah Jong tiles..."

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger SnakeOil Sage said...

There's nothing an Elven adventuress fears more than the nagging of her Jewish mother.

I just see her, and the bikini, and a backpack full of equipment, food, weapons, and miscellaneous junk.

This is the Dungeons and Dragons paradox.

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger ec said...

It may also be the reason so few women play D&D.

DM: "Here's your character sheet. You're an elven sorceress with a killer body, a Bikini of Watcher Summoning, a backpack full of equipment, food, weapons, and miscellaneous junk."
FEMALE GAMER: "A bikini? Surely you freaking jest. Why is my character wearing a bikini?"
DM: "It's...traditional. Shut up and roll."
FG: "Oh sure: ROLL playing. Ever heard of character development? Backstory? Woman as multi-dimensional human beings rather than objects of adolescent wish fulfillment?"

::crickets::

DM: "Oh-KAY... You venture deeper into the cave. A giant squid explodes from the water, seizes your ankle, and drags you under..."

*******

Oddly enough, I didn't notice that the bikini babe was an elf. Either my elf radar is fubar, or I've been spending too much time in 16th century Scotland.

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger SnakeOil Sage said...

The only thing that makes her remotely elven is the ears, the rest of her is a human build.

Not that a got that good a look or anything.

That's the problem with the game, though. Fantasy in the 80's included mandatory scantily-clad women, and unfortuantely certain fathers (you know who you are) of the industry did little to encourage more respectable female roles.

I mean, show of hands - how many men in this audience read Drizzt novels as teenagers? And of that group, how many can honestly say that Catti-Brie -wasn't- a major part of their personal fantasies?

We didn't even focus on the fact that she could probably kick our butts (well, maybe some of us did).

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger ec said...

Not to disrespect the art Harley's exhibiting. Am I right in asuming the retro Dungeon Babe look is deliberate, to emphasize that this is a "Classic Adventure?"

 
At 8:13 PM, Blogger Grimbones said...

No disrespect taken! :)

Retro is indeed the intended effect, and this style often isn't representative of an artist's work. (I tracked down some of "my" artists at GenCon and was amazed at the other work the do.) It is, however, representative of the Dungeon Crawl Classics line, but as it is intentional, I don't take offense. :)

Being the sentimental sort, I appreciate the art AND the humor it evokes. No reason I can't enjoy both sides of the fence.

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger Jeff LaSala said...

*Raises hand at Drizzt query*

Catti-brie? I can honestly say "no." She was for me as, I assume, Bob intended. As was Drizzt. As was Wulfgar, etc.

I'm on the fence with this one. I admire Harley's camp, because this IS meant to look retro and it pulls it off well. I can appreciate that. But it also revives the absurdity of it all, too.

I dig the monsters. The bikini-clad women are just...tiresome.

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger SnakeOil Sage said...

Ugh. She's gonna have to make a grapple check soon...

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger ec said...

"...but as it is intentional, I don't take offense. :)

Being the sentimental sort, I appreciate the art AND the humor it evokes. No reason I can't enjoy both sides of the fence."

::nods:: There are those who put pink flamingos on their lawns in a spirit of camp and/or playful irony. Sometimes I think we who labor in the fields of fantasy have to take a similar attitude.

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger SnakeOil Sage said...

Aren't we all doing that right now?

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger ec said...

Well, yeah. My observation was meant to acknowlege that--something along the lines of a shrug followed by, "If you gotta, you gotta," with semantic overtones of "can't take the gig, or yourself, too seriously."

 

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